How to Recover from Trauma, Grief, and Repeated Pain While Keeping Your Faith
When Pain Keeps Coming: How to Stay Grounded in the Storm
Most people expect life to have a few hard moments. Christians are no different. We’re not surprised when trials come—we’ve read the verses. We’ve memorized Romans 8:28 and sung “It Is Well with My Soul.”
But what happens when suffering doesn’t stop after a single blow? When life brings not just one loss, but a series of them? When you’re dealing with the aftermath of trauma, chronic illness, betrayal, grief, and it doesn’t seem to let up?
That’s where many believers feel disoriented. The usual advice—pray more, have faith, trust God—can start to feel hollow. Not because it’s untrue, but because it’s incomplete. Deep, ongoing pain requires a deeper theology.
If that’s where you are, this post is for you. You’re not broken. You’re not “less spiritual.” And you’re not alone.
1. Faith is Not Denial
When Job lost everything—his wealth, his health, his children—he didn’t put on a brave face and quote Proverbs. He tore his robe. He sat in ashes. He asked why over and over again.
And yet: “In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing” (Job 1:22). Lament is not rebellion. It’s worship in the language of grief.
If you’re weary of putting a spiritual “spin” on your pain, know this: God does not require a performance from you. He desires your presence. Even if all you can offer is silence or tears.
2. Trauma Recovery as a Christian Begins With Honesty
In Christian communities, we often equate spiritual maturity with positivity. We feel pressure to smile through suffering or say, “God’s got this,” even when our hearts are breaking.
But Scripture gives us a better model: honesty before God.
In the Psalms, David doesn’t shy away from raw emotion. “How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?” (Psalm 13:1). Jesus Himself cried out on the cross, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46).
If Jesus can ask why, so can you.
Healing begins with telling the truth—first to yourself, and then to God. Not a filtered version of your feelings. Not what you think you’re supposed to say. Just honesty.
Because God doesn’t heal the person we pretend to be. He heals who we really are.
3. Trauma Isn’t a Lack of Faith—It’s a Wound That Needs Time
One of the biggest misconceptions in Christian circles is that pain should disappear if you just have “enough” faith. But trauma isn’t about weak belief—it’s about injury.
If someone broke a bone, we wouldn’t expect them to run a marathon the next day. We’d offer care, patience, and time.
The same is true for emotional and spiritual trauma.
Jesus tells us in John 16:33, “In this world you will have trouble.” That’s not a failure of faith. That’s reality. But then He adds, “Take heart! I have overcome the world.”
This is not a promise that suffering disappears—it’s a promise that we don’t walk through it alone. Healing is a journey, and Jesus walks every painful step with us.
4. Don’t Underestimate the Power of Roots
Christian recovery from abuse—whether emotional, physical, spiritual, or relational—can’t be rushed.
Psalm 1 describes the person of faith as “a tree planted by streams of water.” The key word is planted. When storms come (and they will), what keeps a tree from toppling is not its leaves or fruit—it’s the unseen root system that has slowly, steadily grown over time.
Your job right now may not be to produce fruit. It might just be to keep rooting yourself in God’s presence—quietly, persistently, and without fanfare. We don’t build that depth overnight. But even now, in the repeated ache of hard seasons, we can keep pressing our roots into the soil of Scripture, prayer, community, and quiet trust. These are not small things. They are survival.
Some practical ways to do that:
Return to Scripture, even if it feels hard. Start with Psalms or Lamentations.
Pray honestly, even if it sounds messy or angry.
Surround yourself with wise, safe believers—therapists, pastors, or friends who don’t minimize your pain.
Rest. Yes, rest. You are not failing by slowing down. You are healing.
5. Faith Isn’t Always a Feeling—It’s a Direction
One of the most damaging myths about Christian recovery is that if you don’t feel hopeful, you must be failing spiritually. But biblical faith isn’t defined by emotional highs—it’s defined by movement toward God, no matter what.
Hebrews 11 talks about heroes of faith who “did not receive what was promised” in their lifetime. They were still called faithful.
Faith in pain often looks like this:
Reading the Bible when it feels dry.
Praying when we’re not sure we believe it’s helping.
Choosing not to numb out with distraction or despair.
Asking someone for help—even when it’s hard.
God honors that kind of movement. And He meets us in it.
6. God Doesn’t Waste Pain—Even When It Seems Pointless
When we go through repeated suffering, it’s natural to ask: Why?
Sometimes we get answers. Often, we don’t.
But Romans 8:28 reminds us that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him.” That doesn’t mean all things are good. Abuse isn’t good. Loss isn’t good. Trauma isn’t good.
But God can bring resurrection even from the grave. That’s what He does.
Christian trauma recovery and healing from loss isn’t about pretending your pain was a blessing. It’s about believing that your story doesn’t end with brokenness. Redemption is not denial—it’s transformation.
7. Hold Onto the Unseen Hope
Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 4:16–18, “Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day... For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.”
Paul isn’t minimizing suffering—he endured more than most of us ever will. He’s reframing it. The trials we face here aren’t the end of the story. There is a weight of glory being formed in you, even in the places that feel empty.
Just make sure you aren’t holding on to false hope (Click here for how you can tell the difference.)
8. You Are Not Alone: The Right Church Can Be a Place of Healing
One of the hardest parts of walking through trauma and deep pain as a Christian is feeling like no one understands. Sadly, the church has not always been a safe place for survivors.
But that’s not what God intended.
In Galatians 6:2, Paul writes, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” That’s the kind of church Jesus is building—a body where broken people are not only welcomed but honored.
If you’ve been hurt by the church, I am deeply sorry. That pain is real. But please don’t give up on the Body of Christ. There are communities that will walk with you gently. Keep looking. Keep hoping.
And if you are part of a church, consider how you can help it become a place of refuge—not with easy answers, but with real compassion.
9. Allow Others In When You Need Help
When Elijah reached his breaking point, he cried out to God, “I am the only one left” (1 Kings 19:10). But God gently corrected him—there were still 7,000 who had not bowed the knee to Baal.
You are not alone.
Reach out. Let others hold up your arms when you can’t lift them yourself (Exodus 17:12). We were never meant to walk through fire alone.
10. Healing Takes Time—and That’s Okay
Let this truth settle deep: Healing is not a straight line. It’s a winding road, often with setbacks and dark valleys. And God never forces us down the path any faster than we’re able.
Philippians 1:6 says, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.” You don’t have to finish yourself. He’s not asking you to sprint—just to walk with Him.
Whether you’re in year one of grief, or decade two of rebuilding after trauma, your timeline doesn’t disqualify you from hoping in a better future.
You Are Seen, Held, and Loved
If you're reading this and wondering if you’ll ever feel whole again, let me tell you: You are already loved fully, right now, by the God who knit you together and catches every tear in His bottle (Psalm 56:8). You are already whole in His eyes, you just may need some time to begin seeing yourself that way.
You may feel shattered—but you are not abandoned.
Stay grounded. Stay honest. Keep pressing your roots deep into the soil of grace. And know that even if the pain is repeating, so is God’s mercy.
Darah Ashlie
Hi, I’m Darah! If you’re joining us for the first time, welcome, I’m glad you’re here. I’m an Abuse Recovery Coach as well as a Board Certified Christian Counselor whose passion is to help women go from surviving to thriving. On the blog I share how you can get out of feeling stuck and overwhelmed, relationally and emotionally, and start to live like an overcomer!